Merry Humbug!

Yes, I said Humbug.

It is just the way I feel.
My house is a mess, I have ten thousand loads of laundry.
My tree isn't decorated.
Heck, it isn't even have lights on it.
I guess I finally understand why growing up my mom got so cranky before Christmas. (if I posted a post like this last year, I apologize, I don't have time to time this blog let alone check past posts)
As we speak, I have yet to do my traditional teacher gift, with home made white chocolate dips pretzels and snowman marshmallow candy, with other blue and silver candies to go with my blue and silver snowflake gift bags or boxes, including a snowflake ornament.
Yes, I do blue and white and snow. Why?
Well, one of these Christmas seasons, my kids will end up with a teacher who doesn't believe in Christmas or is Jewish, so I started playing it safe with blue and snowman stuff. More of a seasons greetings.
Honestly, I can;t believe I am here typing, it is 8:57pm and my boys are playing outside, I have hair pretties to make, teacher gifts (thank goodness for High school and Jr. High, on 2 teachers this year) I also have to make Lemon Squares for my Nathan to take to a pot luck for tomorrow. I just finished eating...sort of my dinner. Thank goodness for the goobers who were home when the pot roast went off on the timer,t they never took it out of the oven...but they did turn off the oven.
Even bribing my kids with money for "babysitting" each other whilst I shop for Christmas cheer, gets them to help me out around here!
That's right.
Christmas Cheer.
That is what all this work and time and effort are for.
That good old, dumb magical Christmas Cheer that isn't even appreciated until they are grown up with obnoxious, ungrateful teenagers of their very own.
I here by shout to the world.
" MOM,I AM SO SORRY I WAS AND UNGRATEFUL OBNOXIOUS TEENAGER"
I do know deep.....deeep.....deeep down, they are grateful.
And I do know in the very end, which is 5 minutes after the presents are opened, it is allllll worth it.
Kinda.
I am grateful that the stress of purchasing gifts this year was not there at all. Getting the right thing was.
I am soooo grateful for my husband who worked extra over time to pay for the Christmas....(all CASH!).
Thanks babe.

Wow, I did it, I actually posted. I....hope I can post a picture of our Tree and the kids soon.
Who am I kidding.....I will be lucky, if I make it over here until next year.

Christmas Cards

Does anyone still do Christmas cards? I no longer make them from scraps of paper, taking that extra time and love.
This year we have opted to not do it at all.
Well, not a card, but a CD of some of our favorite Christmas songs.
(well, this year, it is some new songs and old songs I LOVE)
The postage to send these suckers out will be the same as doing a picture card and ordering it from Wal-mart.
If you want one, send me your address via email and I will send you one.
I hope everyone likes this one this year, it is a bit different then years past.
I love Christmas music.
This year a asked Jeff if I could start listening to it the day after Halloween.
Of course, I didn't wait for his answer and I started looking for new versions to my favorite Christmas songs.
I wouldn't be offended if anyone gave it away, or even threw it in the trash.
It is different.
But if you know me at all, I am one of those criers. The ones who cant sing at church, because the words of the hymns hit the core of my heart and I start to ball. I mean, like need a tissue kind of a cry.
I have to mouth the words and pretend so my kids will sing.
It is the same with Christmas songs.
I have such a huge testimony of Jesus Christ and his love for me and all of us on this earth. And when almost every song is about Him.... the tears can't be held back.
So...... I went a little rock and roll this year.
Maybe a little too much.
There is some funki-ness too.
I like all kinds of music. (except Gangster rap)
Why am I so nervous about this CD?
I hope everyone gives this a chance and listen to it more than once.
Maybe a few times.
It only took Jeff 3 or 4 times listening to 'tobymac' to love it like I do.
If you want one, email me your address.
If you hate it when you get it, I am truly sorry....but I love it.
EVERY SINGLE SONG!!!

Happy.

I am happy.
I am.
It is almost unreal.
I have lived so long being depressed I am not sure how to even proceed.
I have been thinking about it for days.
I even said to my aunt, "I am happy, but it feels weird to be so happy."
I mean, lets get real, there is the everyday stuff...."am I a good mother?"
or "it is my fault we are ave have not bought a house yet." (I have impulse control issues and, well, you figure it out)
But other then doubting myself a few times a day, I am happy.
I don't sit around wallowing in self pity. (I am not eating as much too.)
It is simple.
We have enough for our needs, we are healthy, Jeff has a pretty secure job.
Someone asked me, "Arent you waiting for the bottom for fall out?"
Yes, I am.
But I dont wallow.
I just set it aside to think about tomorrow.
I just try to do the best I can for that day and hope the bottom doesn't fall out along the way.
Speaking of bottoms, mine is quite large.
I am finally ready to do something about it.
Unfortunately, it is December, and a great time of my favorite foods and goodies.
Isn't January the time of renewly and starting over?
That sounds good, January.
Maybe by Summer, I will have a less large bottom.

excited.

looking forward to October.
anyone else?
I've got LDS General Conference this weekend, (you can watch it on BYU TV if you've got Dish or Cable or here).
I have birthdays out the wazoo and Time Out for Women in a few weeks, more birthdays and then my birthday and my second favorite day of the year.....HALLOWEEN!!!!!!
Good time to be had!
I LOVE IT!!!!

this is how my brain works.

I noticed something today.
and it took 30 seconds to figure it out!

YOU DO READ MY BLOG!!!!!!!
in that 1 minute and 30 seconds (so far) I have suddenly put a few more pieces of a puzzle in my brain together.

Now, I just instantly thought.."if they read it, they must like me!"
but the doubt in my brain chimes in almost instantly, dashes any hope and says...."they may or may not like you. but they still read it"

yes, this twisted and sometimes forgetful....what was I talking about? .......
....um.....uh.......and always....SQUIRREL.....A.D.D. brain of mine works.
I have voices.
I know I meantioned it before and because of medication.....the bad ones stay at bay
....but my voices of late have wondered if there was a point to blog and even if I blogged what would I blog about...?
so i decided to blog lurk...... and finally I...
I went to a cousins blog and I saw a picture of my grandparnets, which is also on this blog and it made me think about who really reads it and now I am back to my point......
YOU LIKE ME YOU REALLY, REALLY LIKE ME! (name that movie or is it awards show....first or second.)

this is how my brain works.

Now, I didnt add the mundane-ness of my life, like how my mind wondered about 10 times to 10 different things and how my head hurts and I need to feed my kids, but I can't tear myself away from this blog and train of thought to do anything about it..... I wont mention the actual squirrel or the voices ....yes, they laugh at me all the time.......
and again, i say this......if you ever wondered about why I am the way I am.....

this is how my brain works.

and my head hurts and I dont wanna spell check.
you would not believe the amount of words and things I was gonna say and didnt cause I forgot them.
I will remember them later and edit.....maybe....if i remember.
I hope I made you smile.
if anyone actually reads this....

Can you believe it!!!!?

Okay, so my sister had a request for her wedding this weekend.
She wants old sepia toned pictures of our family on their wedding day to sit in brass frames on the tables along with the center pieces.
so it became my job, (I don't sew, Aimee does... you do the math) to find these pictures and get them printed and framed.
I had to dig out my album and pull out my already scrapbooked "when scrapbooking was new to me 13 years ago" wedding album and find and scan my pictures.
I feel so .....
I don't know how to describe it but..... OLD!!!!!!
No, I am not that old, not even 40 yet. (37 thank you very much)
But I feel old. and if you feel old......
I dont feel the wise old, or the crusty old.... just not hip with the times old.
BLeh!!!!!!
I do have some great pictures of my family to share. I am gonna try and post them.
(My computer hasn't been friendly with me lately. probably because I am old..... and old.)

my brother Shane and his bride Jami

Engagement pictures of my sister Sarah and finance Ryan

My Grandparents

Melvin and Marion

My Paternal Grandparents

Glen and Eva

Jeff and I

Jeff and I

My sister Aimee and her husband Tyler on their Sealing Day.

(they were Sealed in the Oakland Temple. Questions? see Mormon.org)

Aimee and Tyler on Actual Wedding Day 1995

My Parents - Jerry and Susi

They look so young!

I still need one from my sister Sarah on her wedding day.

Working on that. I will edit and add that when I get it.

ah...... To be so in love....... and OLD!!!!!

I can't believe my baby sister is getting married!!!! See...why do you think I feel old!!!!

But we are so very excited and we love him. He just fits into out family so well.

Congrats Carrie!!!!

a minute....or two

I only have a minute or two to type.
I have been very busy.
The boys are back in school, I watch a little girl 4 days a week, my sister Carrie is getting married in less than 2 weeks and my goal is to make Jeff very happy. (a little birdie suggested he wasn't happy)
Now to do all of this I have to be very organized.
I have changed my whole house around to do this.
To make more room for my stuff that is in JEFF's garage, to be moved into the house. (you know, cause it isn't my garage, I am just allowed to do laundry in it. Am I a little bitter about this statement? um...yes.)
To keep up with this organization I am constantly on the go.
Okay, so maybe not constantly. But I have the changed the rules around here in regards to the boys. I am not as laid back with them. They have walked all over me all summer.
No worries, I am still the relaxed, laid back kind of girl I always was, but I have laid down the law with the boys. Jeff wants me to make them do push ups if they break a rule.
Sorry honey, NOT happening. But they CAN NOT play outside with their friends, play video games, or watch TV if they break a rule.
And if these friends come to the door, the boys fully aware that they are grounded still ask if they can play, I yell really loud..." NO THEY CAN'T!!! They are grounded, tell them to stop being dorks and stop breaking rules in the house! Then they can play!"
Sometimes, it feels VERY good to say NO!
It seems to be working.
Mikey is almost two and VERY terrible which is making my life hard.
Emma is moody and girlie but, loves having another little girl here. She is learning to play with other people and learning to share.
By the way....
I have made Jeff very happy. (he told me so)
And once my sister Carrie gets married... I am hoping life gets back to where it should be.
I do LOVE the organized house I now live in. (Which I need to say, was my goal all along after I got back from girls camp and I still have to concur the linen closet and kitchen cabinets which hard to do with little ones all around)
okay, so that was more than 2 minutes, but if you only knew what was happening while I was typing...or what I now have to clean up......why do they have to be so loud and messy.
P.S. anyone know where my lens is? It fell out of my glasses yesterday and I can't find it anywhere.

Routine

Routines.
Everyone needs rountine, right.
I have a routine.
I love my summer routine.
Cause it changes everyday.
I loved sleeping until whenever we all got up.
I loved just sitting and watching cartoons with the kids until I couldn't stand the mess anymore and we cleaned it all up.
I loved being able to do whatever and when ever we wanted.
but now that school is back in session, we have to get a routine going.
I need the routine.
and Emma needs the routine.
She will be in kindergarten next year. Wow!
she will have the routine.
None of my kids were ever really on a routine.
I am not sure if that is a good thing or not.
Some may say yes, but in my gut I say not really.
Yes, structure is good.
But my kids are easy to adjust to things. Change comes easy and they adjust fast. It isn't the end of the world if they have to change the day.
But then, they might be more disciplined if I had stuck to a routine.
Oh well, if anyone has any tips on how to get better on this awful word...ROUTINE.... it hurts just to type it...
Never mind. I will just wing it. See that's me.
I DO NOT like big change....but a little is always good.

Failed

I have failed as a mother and a scrapbooker!!!!!
I forgot to take the first day of school pictures!!!!
No, do not argue with me and disagree.
I know better.
I have been taking them the first day of school for 10 years.
10 years!!!!!!!!
I will try and post some of the handsome boys that live here as soon as they come home from school clean...okay, so almost as clean as when they left, which isn't saying much, because half the time I have to make them change their clothes, because "they have nothing to wear"and put on dirty smelly clothes that they wore the day before!
We put all the kids clothes in one room.
Yep that is right. One room Just dressers and a closet full of Sunday wear and dresses.
All the boys in one room and Emma and Michael in another room. No one has dressers or baskets of clothes and I can tell you for a fact their room still isn't clean!!!!!
It is an improvement and their rooms just have blankets and pillows and the never allowed drink cups and food crumbs on the floor.
It does make life easier until I hear the dreaded.... "I have nothing to wear!"
We also made a few changes and since they no longer clean their room by throwing all the dirty clothes for me to wash out in the garage, they have certain days set aside for them to wash their own clothes. I have 3 laundry baskets with 2 kids names on each to share. Emma and Michael, Caleb and Sam, and Matt and Nate.
They are in charge of their own washing and drying of the clothes in said basket. I am in heaven.
I am still doing laundry from the big "super duper move furniture clean up the house" day.
The mountain was beyond control. Jeff took pity on me and got it under control. It was too overwhelming for me. Plus, he was already cleaning his precious garage.
I weed through the clothes as I fold them.

I LOVE THROWING THINGS AWAY!

I sorted 11 (13 gallon size) bags, 3 boxes, and 5 storage containers of clothes. I got it all down to 3 storage containers in Emma's closet and 4 storage containers in the boys closet, plus 2 small boxes. (mostly winter and Mikey, Emma, Caleb and Sam's hand me downs)
We got rid of 13 (13 gallon size) bags of clothes.
We are planning on getting even more organized and cleaning out my closet and room. (which will in turn help Jeff organize his garage.)
I know amazing.
Because of this I failed.
I forgot the pictures.
I didn't get everything back into it right place until a few days later.
Oh well.
I will do it soon and probably post the pictures on my private family blog.
If, I can get them to stand with each other I will try for a group shot, (it is never easy and never very fun) I will post the group shot here.
*deep sigh*
After a long conversation with my mom, we figured out that boys are not easier to raise then girls.
Yes, they might have less stuff, but they still cry like girls.

First

Today is the first day of school.
I miss them.....a little.
It nice to have the quiet.
Kinda.
I like the noise.
Pardon me, I had to stop blogging and change a smelly diaper.
I still have noise.
As of this very moment, I have a screaming almost 2 year old on my floor. He didn't want me to put a new diaper on him. (I hope this means easy potty training when it comes time) as for now, I know it means he really just wants to be naked.
Today, I am watching a darling little girl named Katie. True story.
She is playing with Emma. And it is fabulous.
They love to color and play playdoh, and play with my hair.
I love it.
And Emma gets the interaction with other people besides her brothers and boys cousins. That's right she gets girl time. Which she will need when she does start school.
I haven't decided if it is gonna be this year or skip preschool all together. Sammy did and he is doing great in school. As great as a little boy can be.
yep, Mikey is still screaming.
I tried, offering Pretzel fishes, I tried Momma loves, and I tried shoes (his all time favorite) I think he misses the boys.
We decided last week to go back to Susanville for a mini vacation and visit our good friends up there. We had a blast.
And yesterday we had a last minute mini-mini day trip to Dillon's beach. We didn't get there until almost lunch time and left at 4pm.
Mikey update - Finally, he stopped screaming. (Emma even told him to stop, i guess she couldn't take it anymore.) He got a drink and went outside. Only to come back in after 5 minutes, squealing about a smashed fruit snack on his foot. I guess it was an emergency. Soooo loud this child.
Yes, he is the baby and a tad bit spoiled....okay, a lot spoiled. But it is not just me that does all the spoiling. He has 6 other people who give him what he wants all the time!!!! okay so really only 5, Emma doesn't like sharing.
Back to the beach trip. The boys didn't mind going for such a short day trip. They had lots of fun.
As soon as we got home and I cut our Little Caesars Pizza into smaller portions, changed my beach clothes and scarfed down a few pieces, I left with Caleb and Nathan, to buy new school shoes. I love Ross. I got 4 pairs of school shoes for $97. I originally bought 4 new backpacks at Costco, but when I found out the boys didn't need new backpacks, I had Jeff take them back, and I got new shoes instead.
I haven't even touched the school supply list. and I missed the sophomore orientation meeting, and 8th grade meeting. So my boys will be at school supply-less. I did make them lunch.
I have goals while the boys are at school.
catch up on my soaps, eat bon bons, Get in a nap....nah, i am kidding. I have so much organizing to do.... no really, my husband just told me so.
First a quick cleaning....who am I kidding.... quick.
1 house, 4 bedrooms, living room, family room, kitchen, 2 bathrooms, and 6 kids.....I wonder if I will get to blog again.
no worries, I will.