Flash Back Friday - Me

Mother's day is coming up.
It's not a favorite holiday.
I mean I totally enjoy it and I am glad it is there.
But I can't say I look forward to it...yet.
(It is usually disappointing.)
But, I so am glad I am a mother.

This is a picture of me on my 10th birthday.
I was getting a Cabbage patch new born baby.
It was a boy. (I think it is funny, I didn't even have girl baby dolls)
His name was Christopher Michael.
I was thrilled.
I loved playing with dolls.
Even at age 10.
Playing the roll of Mommy.

I was holding my sweet Michael last night and just looking at his sweet sleeping face on my chest, i got all teary eyed and warm fussy all over.
It made me miss him.
Yes, he was right there, but I almost wanted him to be awake with his big happy smile. He has the best smile.
I thought of my other boys and guilt hit me.
Earlier that night, I realized my boys don't hug me before bed anymore. No kisses good night. Nothing.
I made them hug me. They seemed to love it. I held on a little longer than usual.
They are so big now.
Where did the time go?
How did I miss it?
I didn't miss anything, obviously, I was there. I was just being the Mom.
The one busy.
The one who did almost everything.
The one making sure they were fed and clean and loved.
I was the one who remembered their favorite things. I was the one who encouraged them to try.
I was the one who pushed for homework, chores and clean rooms to get done. Not for my sanity, so they could learn.
I was the one who loved them even when they were rotten stinky boys.
It all feels like a blur.
Where was I when they were growing up? I was here, but I feel like I missed it.
How is that possible?
I think about the day I became a real mom.
December 19th, 1995.
Matthew was so little . Too early and so tiny.
I was so happy. Just happy.
Finally, doing my dream job. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was just so happy.
I look at that picture and a few more from birthday and Christmases when I was little, and I think I got baby for each one. (up until I was 10)
It makes me remember that all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a Mom.
I knew that I wanted to get married and just be a mom.
My Mom was and still is an AMAZING mother. I remember I wanted to do what she did. I wanted to be a Mom just like here.
Some days I REALLY hate my job. (you know, you've been here), because some days it is harder than others.
But I truly love my job.
The good, the bad and the ugly of it all.
I am getting better at it. I have entered teenage world. Matthew is a little behind on things a teenage boy would do. (Especially with girls, and no I am not sad about that part at all)
I have so very much time in this job left.
I have forever.
I have forever to get it just right.
I realized that the joys and wonders of motherhood are plain as day to most of you all, But I am slow learner and it takes me a little bit longer to figure things out.
I also have this memory thing (not just from motherhood, just born that way), I tend to forget a great many things, even the simple wonders of motherhood.
I am gonna try harder.
Good thing I am a scrapbooker, or nothing would ever be remembered.
Feel free to make fun of my hair in the photo, I know I will.

Tasty Tuesday - Chicken in a Biscuit

I love this recipe. it is SUPER EASY!
My mom made it when we lived at her house.
She got it from my AWESOME sister-in-law Jami.

Aunt Jami’s Chicken in a Biscuit

3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 package dry onion soup mix
1 bar of cream cheese softened
3 tubes of crescent rolls

Bake chicken and cut into small pieces
In a bowl, add chicken, cream cheese, and ONLY 3 TABLESPOONS OF ONION MIX!
Mix well.
Unroll each crescent roll and add 2 tablespoons of chicken mixture. Roll up crescent roll like a little package. See the pictures below.

(it DOES NOT have to be perfect or pretty)
Place on a greased cookies sheet
Follow Crescent roll directions on baking.

Great with potatoes or rice and chicken gravy.

Enjoy.

Busy girl

I guess it is a good thing I have been busy.
If your are not busy, it means you have time to wallow in the imperfections of your life.
(and I have A LOT and I do wallow)

We had the best time Friday night with friends.
Saturday I had another great day with my sisters.
and then Sunday we had a baby blessing.
My sister Sarah and her husband blessed their adorable sweet baby Sawyer.
After ward, my brother Shane invited us over to their house for a spur of the moment dinner. Almost my whole family was there. It was great.
We had all of the new babies there.
From left to right - Michael, Annabella, Cannon and the newest baby....Sawyer.

Monday, Jeff snagged an overtime and I was the early bird. It has been a while since I had to do that.

I am super tired and have some sort of sinus thing going on. I know, I should see a doctor, but I don't wanna.

And you can't make me. hee hee.

Tasty Tuesday - Katie's Breakfast Casserole

I made this for Easter morning brunch.
It was so good.
I kinda just made this up. I remember reading parts of this from other recipes.
The cheese sauce is something my Mom has been making for years.
I just decided to try them together.

Katie’s Breakfast Casserole with Cheese Sauce

Preheat oven to 375

12 eggs
4 boiled, peeled and diced red potatoes (I browned the potatoes in a skillet with some oil to get them crispy, totally optional)
2 cups shredded cheese
I package bacon; cooked and crumbled or Ham cubed
3 whole green onions; sliced (optional)
1 tsp salt
½ tsp onion salt
½ tsp pepper

In a bowl crack open eggs and beat eggs.
Add 1 cup cheese, Bacon or ham, onions, salt, pepper, and onion salt and mix well.
In a 13x9 casserole dish add potatoes.
Pour egg mixture over potatoes.
Sprinkle 1 cup cheese over top.
Bake 30 to 40 minutes (test it with a fork to make sure it is done int he middle)

* you can add red peppers for more color

Cheese Sauce

½ cube margarine
½ cup flour
Salt and pepper to taste
1 ½ cups shredded cheese
1 ½ cup

In a medium pot melt butter.
Add flour and mix into a smooth paste.
Add 1 ½ cups milk
Use wire whisk and stir until a nice thick consistancy. (add more milk if it is too thick)
Add cheese and mix until cheese is melted Salt and pepper to taste
Pour over each serving.

(you can add some chillies to give it a different flavor)

Please let me know if you try it and like it.

Enjoy.

EXCITED!!!!

I love to see the Temple

I am mormon.

I love to go to the Temple.

I have a Testimony of the Temple.

I love the loving and peacful feeling I get when I enter through the doors.

It feels like home.

I know with all my heart I will be with my family forever because of the Temple.

Here is a great video about why us Mormons build Temples that I found, it is on Youtube.

I found the link on a friends blog, and it was HERE (scroll down a bit)

I hope you enjoy.

If you wanna learn more about being mormon go HERE.

Tasty Tuesday: Root beer Float Cupcakes

We made this for my Sammy's Birthday.

Root beer Float Cupcakes. Sounds weird, but they were good.

They all loved it!

I got the Root beer frosting from a friend's blog.
(Her name is Danielle. She is awesome.)

Cupcakes -

Butter Cake Cake mix

Follow directions on the box and add 1 small box of vanilla instant pudding.

Bake as directed on box.

After cupcakes are cool, get a can of whipped cream. Insert whipping cream into the middle of cupcake.

Be careful not to fill too much, it will explode...okay more like burst out the sides and top.

Make Root beer frosting.

ROOT BEER FROSTING
Ingredients
½ cup of butter, softened
½ teaspoon of root beer concentrate
16 ounces of powdered sugar sifted
¼ cup of milk

DIRECTIONS
1. Beat butter in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add root beer concentrate mix well.

2. Gradually add powdered sugar beating until well blended after each addition and frequently scraping the sides and bottom of the bowl.

3. Add milk, beat until light and fluffy. If frosting is too thick to spread, gradually beat in additional milk. Store in refrigerator up to 2 weeks. Re-whip before using.

To finish cupcakes:

Layer a good amount of frosting on top of cupcake.

Add a little bit more (or a lot) of whipping cream to the top.

And enjoy.

REMEMBER: it is whipped cream so refridgerate!!!!!

(I got the root beer flavoring at my Super Wal-mart.

Danielle said the Winco in Reno has it too.)

(is that better Lisa? hee hee)

Old Blogs

Sunday night I couldn't think of blogging about anything good.
I was helping /assisting the boys on the massive cleaning of thier rooms.
Matthew horrible teenage attitude cost his the door to his bedroom. (you must know it was a last straw that had been buildong up for a few weeks, it wasn't just a spur of the moment thing...which by the way I LOVE!)
I had such a headache at the end of it all.
I didn't want to rant about how horrible and discusting it was. I wanted to spare you that rant... you are welcome.
So I had to sit and do something while each boy was given an assignment in their rooms and Emma was hogging the TV with Max and Ruby, and Michael was sleeping....
So I decided to look at some past posts.
It was fun.
I forgot how much I posted.
So I decided I am going to go back to those days of posting more than once a week.
"Tasty Tuesdays" and "Flashback fridays".
Adding "Summing it up Sunday's".
I know 3 posts in one week. Maybe more.... Maybe a "Artsy fartsy Thursday". I will aim to make something crafty.
I miss scrapbooking and card making. I just dont have time theses days.
(uh, I wonder why?)
So I am going to post a recipe in a few minutes.
You dont have to read my blog.
I like it when you do, and i love it when you leave a comment.
I know it takes a little extra time, I hate leaving them myself. But if you leave a comment, I will leave one on your blog, too.

I blogged

I blogged big time on my private blog.
Email me, if you want to be invited and are not.
LOTS of pictures.

Blog Crazy

I have been changing the title of my Blog a lot lately.
I haven't found the title I really love.
I liked changing it for the different holidays and to match the background, but i am not happy with it.
I asked for help a few weeks ago but no one is helping. (sorry Nancy, she helped me)
I have been trying to blog and just be in a good mood.
I am doing well.
I have mentioned before depression and it is on going.
It comes and goes.
It has been "going" for a while, but every now and then, the voices in my head just tell me I am crap.
Things like...."I am stupid"... "No one likes me, it is all fake and they are just trying to be nice".... "I am a horrible mother"....sometimes worse.....
Some days I can ignore it and some days.... I guess the days I am more tired it is worse.
Today is a good day.
Jeff has a job interview in Susanville soon.
For a Firecamp job. (which just means, he would babysit, level one prisoners that help with the fires in California, instead of babysitting them at an actually prison) it would be good financially, but he would be gone.
He it is in Trinity River.....like Redding-ish. He is really excited. I am not.
I want him to be happy. It would probably help with his blood pressure.
It also would mean another move....we will honor our contract and stay here until next December 28th, but Jeff would have to live in both places. Leaving me a single parent.
I am not excited about that. I don't think I do a good job now, I am terrified how I will ruin them when he is not here.
Think good thoughts.
The interview is on April 19th. I am planning on going with him.
The 4 oldest boys will stay here and Grandma Susi will get the boys off to school. Jeff wants to stay over night, but we can't afford a hotel or even a motel, but I don't have the nerve to ask some of our friends if we can stay at their house. Silly, I know.
I miss Susanville so much.
I am so excited to go back...for a visit. I am not sure I could live there again.
Nah, I could.
Tonight I am making cupcakes for Sammy"s birthday. He will be 7 tomorrow. I am making Rootbeer frosting.
(Emma go away)
she is wanting attention, and she has been patient until now....
I guess i am done.
I forgot why I started this post.
Oh yeah, I need a blog title that really says.... me.
Any ideas?

Blog happy

I have been helping my Aunt Kathie with her blog.... ALMOST EVERY DAY and it has been so much fun. check it out.

Easter *edited with pictures*

*Edited with pictures*

Jeff came home on Saturday after a run to the store for me with a dozen pink roses.

They didn't fit in my Easter basket.

He was so cute too.... "they were only 5 bucks" he kept saying...

If you know meI hate spending a lot money on flowers. They have beautiful yet inexpensive flowers out there. you just have to look. I loved them.

They were the perfect pale pink that are my all time favorite.

The big family Easter celebration was yesterday.
We made plans to have Easter Dinner at my brother Shane's house,since his house is the biggest house in the family.
We planned to have the Easter egg hunt after dinner.
My sister and I made ties for our boys, my idea, but she really went for it and bought a pattern and figured how to make them. Way easier than it looks.
Emma looked like a princess or on of those little girls in the dress ads.
She was beautiful and I am not just saying it because she is mine.
I love having a girl.
One of my favorite memories of Easter growing up was getting a new dress. I always just felt so pretty. Grandma Susi picked this one out.
After the big Easter thing at my brothers we colored Easter eggs at home. There were only to big spills. but 5 dozen eggs with beautifully colored.

I was being the super mom and decided to make GIANT size sugar cookies in the shape of Easter Eggs and decorate them with cute little flowers and there names pipped on in frosting. Besides, being the Easter Bunny, and cleaning up, and taking care of Michael.
3:33am rolled around and I couldn't fall asleep. I even took a shower to help me relax.
So many things to ponder i guess and I was in so much pain from being on my feet all day.
I missed most of LDS Semi-Annual General Conference that was on BYU, but recorded it for Jeff. I am hoping to get caught up on it this week.
I had a fun conversation about what Easter is all about with the boys. I was so happy to know what they do know and I was happy to share my testimony of it.
I am grateful that Jesus Christ died for me, I am so grateful He lives and loves me.

I made some eatra cookies for the Bigney cousins. and some for my neice Morgan's birthday. She got butterflies. It was so much fun. I want a decorating kit for Mother's day.