Blog Crazy

I have been changing the title of my Blog a lot lately.
I haven't found the title I really love.
I liked changing it for the different holidays and to match the background, but i am not happy with it.
I asked for help a few weeks ago but no one is helping. (sorry Nancy, she helped me)
I have been trying to blog and just be in a good mood.
I am doing well.
I have mentioned before depression and it is on going.
It comes and goes.
It has been "going" for a while, but every now and then, the voices in my head just tell me I am crap.
Things like...."I am stupid"... "No one likes me, it is all fake and they are just trying to be nice".... "I am a horrible mother"....sometimes worse.....
Some days I can ignore it and some days.... I guess the days I am more tired it is worse.
Today is a good day.
Jeff has a job interview in Susanville soon.
For a Firecamp job. (which just means, he would babysit, level one prisoners that help with the fires in California, instead of babysitting them at an actually prison) it would be good financially, but he would be gone.
He it is in Trinity River.....like Redding-ish. He is really excited. I am not.
I want him to be happy. It would probably help with his blood pressure.
It also would mean another move....we will honor our contract and stay here until next December 28th, but Jeff would have to live in both places. Leaving me a single parent.
I am not excited about that. I don't think I do a good job now, I am terrified how I will ruin them when he is not here.
Think good thoughts.
The interview is on April 19th. I am planning on going with him.
The 4 oldest boys will stay here and Grandma Susi will get the boys off to school. Jeff wants to stay over night, but we can't afford a hotel or even a motel, but I don't have the nerve to ask some of our friends if we can stay at their house. Silly, I know.
I miss Susanville so much.
I am so excited to go back...for a visit. I am not sure I could live there again.
Nah, I could.
Tonight I am making cupcakes for Sammy"s birthday. He will be 7 tomorrow. I am making Rootbeer frosting.
(Emma go away)
she is wanting attention, and she has been patient until now....
I guess i am done.
I forgot why I started this post.
Oh yeah, I need a blog title that really says.... me.
Any ideas?