You know what?

I like me.
I like me and I don't care if you don't.
I like my blog.
I don't care if you don't.
I am a good person.
I am weird, but I like weird.
I like being different.
I have this thing about following the crowd. (I didn't wanna read Twilight 'cause
everyone was doing it;but I am soooo glad I caved and read them)
I hate when people try to convince me to do this or that. (subtle hints and not so subtle)
I am not stupid by the way, I may be slower than most and I may be extremely forgetful, but I am not stupid.
I just wanna do things in my own time, from my own decision.
Why am I saying this now?
There is no good or bad reason or thing that happened to make me come on my blog and announce it.
Although it does feel good to say it outloud.
I have been on this not so sturdy fence for months...no years....about me and who likes me and who doesn't, and why don't they like me. Why it matters if they do or don't ?
I used to HATE it when people don't like me (or know the truth of things about me)
Just the thought of someone maybe not liking me or maybe thinking or hearing bad things about me.....used to just set me flying of the wrong edge of the fence.
But I have finally, after MANY PRAYERS, "seen the light"...
I like me.
The me in my brain.
(Me on the outside has a little work to do, like i said before, i will get to it when I am ready, in my own time)
But I feel like now I have hit that part that I needed to get to, that somethin'....that final "light bulb moment"...
I like me.
I am in NO WAY saying that I am perfect.
I have too many flaws to record on the blog and it will defeat the whole purpose of this whole entire revelation I am having.

I am not saying...Poof....I have completely healed on the inside...
No freakin' way. That is too easy and so false.
so I guess i should say I am healing.

For too long time, I have been listening to voices in my head.
(I warned you I was weird)
2 voices....one good and one bad.
I have never believed the good.
"the bad is easier to believe" ...quoted from Vivian in the movie Pretty Woman.
and it is so true....for me.
I am quite sure I am the only one in this blog world who will ever know what I am really talking about.
I think I realized what sparked this revelation.
My family.
My sweet and very beautiful baby girl turned three.
She was the whole reason I started the blog thing in the first place which took me forever to finally cave to....(another "not following the crowd" thing)
If you think I am weird.... you are still reading my blog......lol
back to my revelation....
Emma turned 3....my family came for her party.
(I am going to cry now.)
I HAVE THE BEST FAMILY.
You can argue all you want, but the facts are the facts.
I DO have the best family.
I have a crush on 24 boys.
I can name them all, but these are the young men (plus Jeff) in my family.
Bigney and Scoville.
Monday was awesome, I got the best of both worlds.
My good friend from Susanville, Monica, came for a visit with her adorable family and with her there and my family, I could have died happy... right then and there.
I love them so.
If they like me enough to come, that should be good enough for me.
Am I right?
Seriously, you're still reading, so you have now joined the weird club.
but you know what?
I like weird.