Tasty Tuesday - The Best Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

I almost don't want to share it.

I don't want this secret out.

I never got a chance to ask my cousin if I can put it on my blog.

My awesome cousin Felisha was home for Christmas and while she was here I got to taste her cookies.

OMG(ness)!!!!!!

I craved it days after and had to make them myself.

I have NEVER had a good experience with Chocolate Chip cookies.

I can make and bake all kinds of things, but Chocolate Chip cookies was not my forte.

This recipe is sooooo easy. and I almost have it memorized.

I have made it 3 times in 12 days. (I am learning to share and not eat them)

And I am lazy.

I have developed the perfect way to make 3 dozen Chocolate chip cookies in 20 minutes. (okay, so it is really 25....maybe 30.

Point is.... it is just smart.

I will show you with pictures.

But first the recipe:

The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies (doubled)

1 1/2 cups brown sugar

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 cups unsalted butter (room temp)

2 tsp vanilla

2 egg (room temp)

4 1/2 cups flour

2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1 package semi-sweet Chocolate Chips. (I love the mini chips the best, more chocolate in every bite)

2 cups chopped walnuts (optional)

*Add brown sugar, sugar and butter, vanilla and eggs into a large mixing bowl.

*Mix with your hands. (i used a hand mixer on low)

**Until just mixed.(It can be a little lumpy, DO NOT OVER MIX)

*Add Flour, baking soda, salt chocolate chips and walnuts.

*Mix with you hands or on low until well mixed. I repeat, do not over mix.

Now what I did was the lazy woman's way....

*I pulled out my cookies sheet, sprayed it with cooking spray, and pressed the cookie dough down into the pan evenly.

*I baked it at 350 for 17 to 18 minutes.

*I let it cool for 5 minutes or so, and while warm, I used a small 1 1/2 inch heart shaped cookie cutter and cut out cookies, placed them to cool on a cooling rack.

And I love it because there is no back and forth in to the kitchen to put and take out cookies in the oven.

You can also just cut like cookie bars, but I like the heart shapes.

I have made some similar for Christmas cutting out trees. I have even thought of melting chocolate and decorating the tree.

I might just to this same recipe for Valentines day treats for the boys to take to school.

I am gonna try pecans next and maybe some mini M&M's.

Proud Momma

Photographer Felisha Coltrin at http://felishacoltrinphotography.blogspot.com/

Thanks to my awesome and brillant, naturally talented cousin we had a fabulous photoshoot for the kids. (next year when jeff and I have lost the bazillion pounds, we will take family pictures...cross you fingers)
yes. this was the only good one . thanks sammy.

Determination

After writing, editing, re-reading, and posting my last blog post I am bound and determined to get Matthew motivated and read for grown-up adulthood.
I mean, it is my job after all.
My job as his mother.
It is easy for everyone else to already know that, but it takes me wallowing and stewing in what I consider 'misery' to see it.
So I did what any mother would do.
I bribed him.
I have seen him succeed.
I know he can do it.
He has no homework, thanks to the teachers at his school, and an IEP. (they decided that he can just do it in class)
So why is he failing.....he just wont do it.
I had many long talks with Matthew this weekend, and got down to the bottom of it.
He doesn't wanna.
So I bribed him with an PlayStation 3 and a game called Call of Duty.
He has until the 15th of February to pull up his grades and do his work in class.
yes, I am still taking him to be tested and maybe we can adjust or try out a new medication.
Things are looking better.
I think I forgot to mention... that.... I have PMS and it lasts for about a good eek.
Just ask Jeff.
It is usually the cause to all of my woes.

Failure

We all feel like we have failed at something at one time or another.
But lately I feel like I am failing at everything.
And.
And I don't know how to fix it.
I have been getting email reports on how my son Matthew has been doing at school. The latest ones shows that he is failing all of his classes but one.
And no, it is not PE, it is Earth Science.
Matthew is not your typical 15 year old. He has no desires to be a normal teenager and girls are not on the brain. The only thing he cares about is Lego's. and his MP3 player, and his DS game system. He doesn't care much for his cell phone. Probably, because there is no one to talk to or text to.
He is socially behind. Which is why there is no one to text or call.
It breaks my heart.
I mourned the loss of my perfect child years go when we found how he had learning disabilities and A.D.D.
I know I have talked about this before.
And yet, I have found no way to help my son and so I have failed.
My mom asked me about a Relief Society Class she wants to have for her Stake. She is the RS president for her Stake and wants to do a class on Self Esteem or Self worth.
She asked me.
I had to ask her why.
I have been involved in RS activities in years past, in the planning them, but we never touched this subject and I really wouldn't know how.
I have a battle in my brain daily on my own self worth.
I am not posting all of this to get advice.
This is my confessions.
I am journal writing.
This is just here to annoy the really positive thinkers.
*deep sigh*
I could go on and on about the things I am "failing" at, but my biggest concern is my Matthew.
It isn't like he needs a tutor.
Yes, he is failing, but I have seen him do the work. HE CAN DO IT.
He is passing Earth Science.
He doesn't talk to me, I can get him to stayed focused enough to tell me much of anything.
He has to learn focusing tools now, so he can be a productive adult.
I will take advice from others on Matthew.
As I sit here and ponder, I also weep.
We all worry over our children, I have different worries for each of my children.... but Matthew is...
He is so wonderful and frustrating all at the same time.
He is AMAZING with little kids.
He loves to play with them.
But it is almost like he is a child in his brain.
He also doesn't have any friends his age.
*deep sigh and a sniffle.... or two*
We have tried working with the school, but the teachers are annoyed that he is a hard kid to deal/work with. He can't stay focused. Even on the 30 mg of Ritalin he takes 2 times a day. If I stand and watch him take it. (he gets distracted and doesn't take it some days, and that is another long blog post)
It makes me wonder what the teachers would say if he wasn't medicated.
I have a lot of praying and phone calls to make on Monday.
I need to get him tested for other disorders.
What if he is not only ADD? What if he is slightly Autistic? or in that realm?
He might get more help, have more options as far as he education.
Have I mentioned I have ADD? probably.
Part of me knows how he feels. Part of me doesn't.
The part that doesn't, is the part who had a social life in high school.
Grades were not my focus, low self worth has a lot to do with that. I have probably had a low self worth since....wow.....
....since as far back as I can remember. Since the time the 10 year old boy my mom babysat tricked me into playing "doctor".
I didn't know it was bad self worth I was feeling, I just knew it was bad.
It never got any better.
I have always felt that I lived in Murphy's law.
And it is still a miracle to me that I am married to this awesome guy and I have these awesome kids.
Back to failing my Matthew.
I do understand how hard it is to focus, in the 4nd grade (I know I have talked about this before) I was diagnosed with short term memory.
I cant remember some times to go write down the thing I am really suppose to remember.
And if I do remember, I forget where I left the note.
Oh, get a dry erase board you say..... when it comes time to buy it, I forget to add it to the budget. It never happens. Actually I think I bought one once, and I forgot I had it and never used it. or the biys abused it.
It doesn't help that Jeff has a thyroid problem, which causes forgetfulness.
Yes, we are a great parenting pair.
Matthew is doomed.
Back to being serious, I think Matthew has a really bad uncontrollable focusing problem and memory issues.
So, If I have not posted that I have called the doctor and gotten Matthew some help, I beg you, if any of you read my blog, message me, call me, facebook message me...help me. ...to remember.
And if you have any ideas for a class for "Self Worth"....you know...for my mom...just get a message to me somehow.

Sickness

There is a sickness going around my house.
A head cold with an unbelievably long life.
why you ask is it it lasting so long?
Because I have no washing machine.
I can not clean the linen's fast enough.
My very huge, free washing machine I got from my brother-in-law last year when we moved into this house , from which he got it free off Craig's list, ended it's life.
(it was probably miserable with the constant use)
but hey, it was free and huge...I do have 8 people wearing clothes in my house.
It was not perfect, it had a slight malfunction.
It would run a load and throw a code. EVERY TIME!!!!!
F1 right before the spin cycle.
All you had to do is hit stop and start and it would work just fine.
Well, that lasted for about a year.
As the year went on, the how many times you had to push the stop then start button (which were only 4 times at first) moved on to be 9 times before it died.
The washing machine decided it was too much.
It could not take the pressure.
It was last Tuesday, we turned it on to do a load and all the lights started to flash. (it was a very fancy washing machine)
When it stopped flashing, the light moved, and it never stayed in one spot. The washing machine would stop and start in a matter of seconds and constantly beep.
SO when I tried to unplug it and plug it back in....(i thought it would reboot it), the plug sparked at me.
Like it was cursing at me. ("don't even try with you wench!!!!")
I feel much like that washing machine.
Over worked, tired, kind of not completely right in the computer. (brain)
I throw a code once in a while and I need a stop (get control of my senses) start (start over and try again)
I feel like someday I will completely go crazy.
And maybe start cursing and someone else.
So what do I do now.
As for our family and the washing machine....
We do not have the extra money to just go buy a new one, nor do we have credit cards to use.
But, my parents have an extra one they are hoping to fix because that one is broken to. (waiting for parts)
Please, don't get me wrong, I am grateful for their generousness, but I am tired of broken washing machines.
I want a fresh, brand spanking new, red one. With a dryer to match.
One day, some day.
As for me, I am not sure what I am going to do.
I feel like I am just going through the motions of the day, of my life.
Wake up, clean, feed people, clean, get ready, go spend money on things and meals for the people I have to feed, put it away, feed people, clean, and a whole mess of more things I do for other people.
(You know, no one asked my how my Christmas was)
So how do I fix this problem?
I have no idea.
It is not like my mom has a spare broken me in her backyard, that just needs a few parts and it should, maybe, be good to go.
Until I can get a new one.
There is no getting a new me.
There is only one me.
Someday, I like me.
Someday, I wallow in all the mistakes I have made.
Some days, I am too busy to do much of anything for me.
I know I need improvement, but don't we all.
I made a list of goals to fulfil this month in my last post and I already failed.
I didn't blog on my family blog.
I didn't make the list to be seen by all on the side of my blog, like a constant reminder.
And No I did not call the doctor.
Yesterday, I had to go to my sisters and do laundry.
Because I have no washer.
I had to wait until the boys got home from school so I could have Matt watch the sick ones. (Jeff needed his uniform washed, so I HAD to go, I had to do it)
I didn't get my dishes washed, I didn't get to clean anything except my room.
(I HAD to find something of Sammy's that I lost)
And if I wasn't do that I was holding 2 sick babies. My 2 little babies that have totally gross green/yellow slime constantly coming from their noses. they are miserable so I had to comfort.
Just doing my job.
But while doing a gross job as that (sometimes it is gross when the sick ones want to give you gross snotty kisses) it only means one thing.
You end up getting sick too.
Yes, on my way home from my sisters house washing 5 loads and drying 3 ( I have a working dryer) I started to feel the ache.
The "oh crap, I know what is coming and I don't have time for this" feeling.
By the time Jeff got home at 11pm, I was done.
The little sick ones were still up watching Nick Jr., I was glued to Sammy DS, that I conveniently confiscated at bedtime, playing his DS so I didn't lose my achy sick mind.
A semi descent night of rest and I do not feel better. I need just one more nap.
No I will not get it.
I have to finish my mom job for the day.
Dinner, homework, chores, and bedtime. ( not in that order)
I sit here now, in my old ratty blue nightgown with grey leggings, red and green striped fuzzy Christmas socks, my new warm slippers, Jeff's green thermal shirt, shivering, cause I am just so cold, sinus pressure making me cranky, waiting for Nathan to finish his rough draft of his Speech that is due tomorrow so I can help him type it up, I am thinking I just need to sit on the couch and relax with Sammy's DS.
But as a mothers job is never done, I have to think of something for dinner that takes minimal effort, but yet edible to all.....
Sounds like a great night for cereal...but what will I eat. I hate cold cereal.

Inspiration

I have been inspired.
I read 2 blogs today.
One I only read when she gets around to it (Ashley L)...
and one I try to read every day (Kasi)
Both awesome girls and I am glad to call them friend.
Ashley posted recently about her goals for this year, and It got me to thinking.
I need to do the same.
My list has to be small.
I don't always fulfill the long term, probably because of my memory issues and I forget. (seriously, I am not sure you guys fully understand my Forgetfulness is a huge issue and has been the cause of serious events and situations in my life. I have lost friends because of it)
So I am inspired.
I am gonna post a list of goals for January. and I will post it on the side of my blog. I will put a star buy it if I remember to get it done.

10 Goals for January

1. Call the eye doctor and have this "floater" in my left eye checked out.
2. Call the doctor to have my thyroid checked. (could be why I am so forgetful)
3. Walk around the block 3 times (1 mile) 5 days a week
4. Organize all the closets in this house.
5. Call a friend every other day and talk on the phone. (I developed a phobia of the talking on the phone)
6. Read scriptures with my boys 5 nights a week.
7. Attempt and plan a Family Home Evening once a week. With a song.
8. Memorize an Article of Faith with my kids
9. Take more pictures, develop them and hang them on the wall in the hallway.
10. Blog everyday. Especially the family blog with pictures and facts about each kid.

Okay, now that the goals have been set.
Yay.
I feel better already. Thanks Ashley

Now about my other friend Kasi.
I have never met her in person. We met on a Scrapbook network with other ladies swapping scrapbook items for pages. She is Fabulous!!!!
She is so talented and brilliant.
I doubt she has any idea of the inspiration she brings to me every time I read her blog.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Kasi Good.
She is a wonderful mother and wife.
She is an awesome writer.
I wish I could write as well she she does on her blog.
Someday I hope she writes a book.
Go check out her blog and see the talent she has not just for scrapbooking( not sure if she has much of the scrapbooking posted), but for making furniture. (I want that book self Kasi!!!!)
I read blogs all the time (I mean, when I get computer time). Some inspire me and she are just fun to read.
I will try very hard to get back into the swing of things.
Blog, call my friend that i miss like you wouldn't believe, walk, clean and love my hubby and kids.
Sounds easy right? Loving my hubby kids is the easiest part.

blank

So as I sit here at the computer, looking at my blog, knowing I have something really profound and worth while to share ...I can't....my head s starting to hurt just from trying to remember what i wanted to share....nope... nothin'... my mind is a complete ....
BLANK!
No joke.
I may need to call a doctor.
I need more sleep.
I have been a scatter brain since I was born but this is getting ridiculous.
I know it is the lack of sleep.
I have been here before.
Caleb was 3 and Sammy was almost 18 months and I didn't sleep much.
We had a hard time keeping them in bed all night.
But we got a slight break when before Emma was born.
I remember getting the boys off to school and then hiding under the covers with Sammy while he watched TV. I would snooze in and out.
It was my nap.
Oh the days!!!!
We lived in Susanville, and I didn't have much to do.
I was depressed and home sick, and hadn't figured out how to keep me 3 bedroom house clean. (I had a tiny 3 bedroom apartment before and the house was way harder to take care of.)
I just don't see a light at the end of this tunnel.
I am sooooo tired I forget almost everything important.
I have a notepad to write everything down.
I forget to write it down on the notepad.
and when I do remember, the notepad gets lost and/or destroyed or I forgot to check my notepad or where i put it.
vicious cycle.
I got distracted.
Once again ,by life and my new weakness.
My boys DS's and a game called Touch Master 1 and 2.
If I have to sit on the couch and watch TV with Mikey, because he wants cuddle time, I can endure 30 minutes of the mind numbing repetition of cute little cartoon characters singing and being so happy, then I want to run from the room screaming.
I grab the DS and play. Everyone is happy.
It helps me relax at night and I usually fall asleep while playing it.
I guess I will try again tomorrow from something new and fabulous to say.
Maybe even inspiring.

Just a thought... I love spell check. I am grateful for the person who invented spell check. I am not a bad speller, mostly just punctuation. (I even had to use it on that very last word)

Winter Blues

I am there.
That place I don't like to be.
I am not unhappy, but I am not excited to get out of bed every day.
I am not a morning person so that doesn't really say much.
I feel the depression creepy back.
Like this dark grey cloud looming over my head.
I constantly have to to tell it to go away.
I can try and blame the winter's gloomy days, but I can't.
I love the gloomy days, the over cast, grey days.
It makes me smile.
I love snuggling on the couch and watching a movie, or playing games with family.
Seriously, I could live in Forks, Washington and be totally happy.
I do hate what January brings.
Every 5 seconds on the TV you see a commercial or infomercial about weight loss and exercise.
It makes me depressed.
Worse than I already am!!!!!!!
I know I am fat!!!!
I have a mirror!!!!
I also have 6 kids and barely get a straight 3 hour "nap" at night.
I do have A LOT to do.
I know.
It still isn't a good enough excuse.
There is a lot I want to do with my family this year, but I don't see myself enjoying it as much, if I am this heavy.
I am done having babies and my baby should be sleeping through the night.
(he doesn't)
I know I need to get out there and just do something.
Anything.
The other night I danced for a good 15 minutes while I washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen.
I know, I would have done it longer, but I ran out of dishes and kitchen to clean.
I wasn't even out of breath, which made me feel really good.
Eating healthy is also in issue.
I have no problem eating healthy, but fresh veggies and fruits are expensive.
I am still on a 3 furloughed, one income, family 0f 8, mostly boys, grocery budget.
I am choosing not to buy, really bad stuff, and I don't eat the half way bad stuff either.
My flaw is I bake for the boys, but eat half of it.
So I guess, I have decided to get on the stupid, weight loss band wagon.
Is it weird I wanna be able to run a marathon before I am 40?
that is my goal.
Now, stop laughing and and start praying.
I am gonna need all the help I can get.
there is no need to get all mushy and leave positive comments.
I hate those.
(man, I sound negative)
I think they are cheesy and ...I don't know... it just bugs me.
I have this feeling I will fail. And the guilt I will have from reading your comments with make it worse.
Wait until after I have lost the 1st 20lbs, then you can get mushy all over the place.
If anyone is out there and has a plan or and idea of what I could do, that is free, and something I can do in my house, that would be awesome...basically, I need a personal trainer to tell me what to do for free...just email me.

Christmas 2010

It was good.

It was crazy busy.

It was exhausting.

It was totally worth it.

I miss that Christmas magic feeling.

This year we waited until after New Years Day to take down all the Christmas stuff.

Jeff asked me to keep it up a little while longer. (I was shocked too)

I will post about our Christmas morning on our private family blog.

But it was fabulous.

I got a new camera so hopefully, i will post more pictures.

I have no new recipes to share, or else I would.

I seriously was excited to post on my blog.

I had to come out to my Aunt Kathie's house to use her way faster computer to changed the ringback tones on my phone, change my blog stuff from Christmas to just plain winter stuff.

But now I have lost all momentum.

(plus I hate her keyboard, too high and ...I guess it is just not mine.)

I guess I will go back home and be a mom.

I left the kids home so I can do this with out being interrupted every 5 I seconds.

Jeff went back to work today.

So weird he has been off on workmans comp for almost 4 weeks. and 2 before that.

He is almost himself again. it was a nice vacation and with thoughts of saving up for a house looking like a possibility, he will be working as much overtime as he possibly can.

We will miss him.

I will post my real thoughts later today, from my very slow 4 year old computer.