Happy.

I am happy.
I am.
It is almost unreal.
I have lived so long being depressed I am not sure how to even proceed.
I have been thinking about it for days.
I even said to my aunt, "I am happy, but it feels weird to be so happy."
I mean, lets get real, there is the everyday stuff...."am I a good mother?"
or "it is my fault we are ave have not bought a house yet." (I have impulse control issues and, well, you figure it out)
But other then doubting myself a few times a day, I am happy.
I don't sit around wallowing in self pity. (I am not eating as much too.)
It is simple.
We have enough for our needs, we are healthy, Jeff has a pretty secure job.
Someone asked me, "Arent you waiting for the bottom for fall out?"
Yes, I am.
But I dont wallow.
I just set it aside to think about tomorrow.
I just try to do the best I can for that day and hope the bottom doesn't fall out along the way.
Speaking of bottoms, mine is quite large.
I am finally ready to do something about it.
Unfortunately, it is December, and a great time of my favorite foods and goodies.
Isn't January the time of renewly and starting over?
That sounds good, January.
Maybe by Summer, I will have a less large bottom.