Flash Back Friday - Call Me Mom

(since it is still May, more mom stuff...I am a theme person, get over it)

I have 6 beautiful, awesome creatures that call me mom.

(I can't believe I am going to post this picture)

This first time I was pregnant with my Matthew, I was nervous.

I had babysat for years, and I was a nanny to a baby, but this was my own.

24 hours 7 days a week, never a break.

(Oh come on, Even on vacation or "breaks" we think about our babies)

I went to my Moms A LOT. I called her for advice A LOT.

I got the hang of it eventually.

kinda.

I am still learning.

And I still go to my Moms and call her A LOT!

These are the 6 reasons I get up every day.

These are the 6 reason I have to just endure until the end of the day.

These are the 6 reasons I have to love myself.

These are the 6 reasons I have to believe in myself.

These are the 6 reasons I have live righteously.

I love these 6 wonderful reasons.

Matthew 6 months and 14 years

Nathan 6 months and 11 years

Caleb 6 months and 9 years

Samuel 6 months and 7 years

Emma 6 months and 2 years

Michael 6 months and 7 months

Oh man, my reasons are so stinkin' cute!

Tasty Tuesday - Linda's Lovely Lemon Bars

Trust me.
These are lovely.
They melt in your mouth and have now become my very favoritest dessert.
And they are so easy to make.
I will never, ever, ever buy the box at the store.

Linda's Lovely Lemon Bars
Crust:
1 cup Margarine (softened)
2 cups flour
1/2 cup powdered sugar
Mix well and pat into 13x9 inch cake pan. (Mix will be crumbly at first)
Bake at 350 for 15 to 20 minutes (18 minutes is good)
In a bowl beat
4 eggs
Add: (slowly until well mixed)
2 cups sugar
8 tbsp flour
1/2 cup lemon juice (freshly squeezed is recommended)
Pour on top of hot crust and bake for 25 minutes.
Sprinkle top with Powdered sugar.
Let cool completely.
(it is very good warm, too.)

I don't have to tell you to enjoy because I know you will.
You can thank me later.

I did get permission from My mother-in-law Linda Bigney to put this recipe on the blog. I got the recipe from her. A cook book she gave me when I got married.

Flash Back Friday - Before I was a Mom

This is a pictures of me at 20 and I was at a Young Adult Dance....before I was a mom.

Not too long after this picture was taken I met Jeff and my life changed.
I was not able to do all the things I liked to do before.
I sometimes think back to those days.
The simple life.... no, it was not simple.
I have come up with a list of things I do and do not miss about my life before I was a mom.
Before I was a mom...I miss:

1. getting my nails done
2. sleeping until noon and sleeping all night.
3. freedom to go to the movies if I wanted
4. being skinny
5. My clothes, with out food or baby barf
6. being pretty
7. being self-confident
8. my car
9. trips to the beach
10. naps on Sunday after church
11. hanging out with friends
12. reading books all day
13. mom cooking
14. sitting through church...ALL OF CHURCH
15. going to dances
16. going to the bathroom alone
17. shopping at the mall

Before I was a mom, I don't miss:

1. feeling lonely
2. shopping at the mall
3. worrying about will I ever get married and have kids
4. looking at babies and dreaming of someday.....
5. working a job
6. going to dances

Okay, that is all I could think of... mostly because I am a mom now and I am too busy to ponder anymore...lol

There are more things I am sure. I do miss my single un-mothered life. But I would miss out on so much more.

I would miss Michael's "George Clooney's" half smile.... and Sammy's shy but happy grin when I tell him I am so proud of him.... Or Caleb's laugh...Or Nathan's goofy dances he does when he is happy...Or Matthew's "I'm taller than you Mom!" Or Emma's sweet funny conversations.

I am so grateful my heavenly Father thought I would make a good Mom. I have serious doubts I am doing well at all. But I will keep trying.

It really isn't that hard, they are easy to love.

My Mother's Day

Well, how do I begin?
I made sure many days before Sunday that I had all the right ingredients for myMother's day breakfast in bed breakfast. My favorite sausage and Orange/Pineapple juice.
And then the best gift ever happend ... Jeff got over time.
Jeff got to work an extra shift from 10:30 pm Saturday night to 6:30 Sunday morning.
(One less thing to worry about next month.)

Matthew and Nathan coughed all night and Michael got a runny nose.

I couldn't sleep with out Jeff (weird, I know) so I was up all night too.

I figured church was not going to happen.

He crawled into bed for at least an hour of sleep before the boys woke up eager to make mom breakfast in bed.
The eggs they made looked yummy but tasted burnt, and the sausage looked black but tasted okay.
The Orange juice was perfect.
The flowers and homemade cards were wonderful.
Jeff getting back into bed and left me having to deal with the mess the boys made with breakfast, that part pretty much sucked.
Jeff slept until noon and then I had to drive him to work. (he left his lights on his ttruck and left him with a dead battery) So I sorta volunteered.....
It gave me a few minutes alone. That was a nice present.
I hung out with the boys watching movies and cat napped while Michael napped.
Dinner was Sloppy Joe's. (next weeks recipe)
It is what I wanted.
Boys to bed, more time alone in the car to get Jeff and another sleepless night with a sick Mikey.
Jeff told me because I didn't get my "queen for a day" on Mother's day, I could sleep in on Monday.
Mike had a 6 month check up, which we were an hour late for (only because I remembered it wrong) and so there was not sleeping in for me.
Nap? no, we had to clean up and cook dinner for the In-laws.
It was our gift, along with these very pretty Coral colored roses, for Mother's day to my mother in law.
We had a great time and a delicious dinner and dessert. (i made lemon bars from scratch)
I started to have back pain on Monday night, but hoped it would get better, I was just tired.
Tuesday morning rolled around and it did not go away. I did get to be lazy and I don't think I left the house.
Tuesday night was the worst. I went to bed hoping the pain in my back would get better, but it only got worse.
I could barely breathe. I could not take a deep breath or yawn. I felt like I was getting stabbed in the back every time I took a breath.
I took my very last vicodin left over from when I had Michael. I was saving it up for some serious pain. It helped relax me enough to get some sleep, but then the pain was so bad, we called the advice nurse at Kaiser. (our hospital)
I actually hoped they said, go to the ER, it hurt that bad.I hate going to the ER or doctor's for me.
As jeff was talkign to the guy, I was nursing Michael, and I fell asleep. I could not do that before.
Of course my body would decide to behave as we are on the phone with the advice nurse.
He told me to take some Tylenol ( i had been taking motrin) and to use an ice pack and find a comfortable spot. Try to rest.
I did. I don't think I slept that much in along time.
I think I was exhausted from the pain. I still don't know what it was, and I am still in pain, but not as much.
It still hurts to take a deep breath.
Like I can't fill my lungs with air. I can only go so far before it hurts. and my chest is starting to hurt and I cough almost everytime I take a breath.
I am going to bed early tonight, and gonna try and get more rest. I believe it is my only cure.
I was gonna but Mikey just fell asleep.....
Jeff was awesome. He helped me all night with Michael. He did all the lifting and even hung out on the couch while I slept.
I didn't ask for anything but flowers for mother's day.
Jeff did clean out my car and wash it too. (but the was more for him them me...lol)
He cleaned and cleaned on Tuesday.
He is such a great guy.
I look forward to spoiling him on father's day.
my mother's day was low key and nice.
I look forward to a nap next year.
My favorite part was Sammy's prideful smile after making sausage and and eggs.
And his shy smile after giving me coupons for "helping mom" and "hugs".
So cute.

Tasty Tuesday - Oatmeal Fudge Bars

I wish I could say I had a picture.
but they got eaten before i could take a picture.
SOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD!

OATMEAL FUDGE BARS

2 cups brown sugar
1 cup margarine
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp baking soda
3 cups quick oats
2 1/2 cups flour
14 oz sweetened condensed milk
1 cup milk chocolate chips
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Cream Brown sugar, margarine, eggs and vanilla together.
Add Flour, oats, baking soda and salt.
Mix well.
Press 3/4 for the dough in to a 13x9 inch casserole dish and set side the remaining dough.
In a sauce pan mix and melt sweetened condensed milk and milk chocolate chips.
Add the walnuts.
Pour over dough and crumble remaining dough on top.
Bake at 350 for 25 to 30 minutes.

I love bar cookies.
This was a favorite.
I might just make it again today.

For the Record

I have to say a few things.
Just to make sure it is said out loud. (and fully understood)

After I found out I was having a boy last May, I had the biggest temper tantrum ever. Yes, I am embarrassed I did it.
It was wrong to say it out loud, so publicly. (at the time, I thought my true friends would understand and most of them did)
The whole thing.... I was more upset over the dreams I had of having to girls and all the things involved with it...shattered......Sister Tea parties and all things girlie.
Lately I have had a few people remark "I am so glad you finally like having Michael"
Seriously?
I got over that a LONG time ago.
And for someone to think I still had issues of it doesn't really know me that well.
I absolutely adore that little boy. He is feisty, smart and funny. (He makes himself laugh)

So for the record.... I have never been more in love with having another boy.

One more for the record.... I have never thought of my self as a great mom.
I never will. I have self esteem issues. (if you haven't already noticed)
My kids are not perfect. ...have I ever thought so?
I love them.
I just try to get through the day, Go to bed and try again not to fail the next day.

For the record.....
Gossip is just bad. Never believe it unless you hear it straight from the horses mouth. Try not to believe the very worst in people. You might miss out on a life long friendship.
I try to give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt. Maybe too much.
And no I don't give a flying flip if you don't want to be my friend. Here, there or on Facebook.
My real friends, like me for me.
The good, the bad, and the really ugly.
No I am not perfect, I mess up a lot.

I feel like I have said this before........

Tasty Tuesday - White Sauce Chicken Enchilada's and Spanish Rice

I know it is Thursday, but I didn't get pictures (Jeff did it for me), until late that day, and it being Jeff's day off I try not to spend much time on the computer. (unless he is busy with his own thing)
So Yesterday came and went like a flash. I hate those days, I feel like I missed something.
Okay excuses over, here i go.

I LOVE this recipe.
I will never make the red sauce kind ever again. (unless Jeff asks me too.)
I got part of this recipe from a romance book. I know, kinda funny, but she added recipes in her book.
I added my own touches. I hope you try it and like it.



Katie's White Sauce Chicken Enchilada's

Pre-heat oven 375

4 boneless/skinless chicken breast; cooked and diced
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can cream of celery
½ cup milk
1 half onion; diced
½ can Jalapeño pepper juice
4 pieces of canned Jalapeño peppers; finely chopped
1 one cup sour cream
12 soft taco size flour tortilla or 24 white corn taco size tortillas (corn tortillas slightly cooked in oil)
4 cups shredded cheese - Monterey jack and cheddar
1 tsp pepper
1 tsp onion salt
1 tsp garlic salt

Cut up chicken into small bite size pieces. Place in a bowl and set aside
Mix cream of chicken soup, Jalapeño pepper juice and finely diced pieces, milk and sour cream, pepper, garlic and onion salt together.
In a bowl with chicken add 1 cup of sauce. Mix well.
Add 1 cup sauce to bottom of 13x9 casserole pan.
Hold tortilla in palm of hand, add to the middle of the tortilla 2 table spoons of chicken. Add desired amount of cheese.
Roll up tortilla and place in casserole dish open side down.
Repeat last step to all tortillas.
Pour remaining sauce over the top of the Enchiladas
Add desired amount of cheese.
Bake for 20 minutes

I make a Spanish rice to go with it.

Katie's Spanish Rice (from scratch) This makes A LOT!
1/2 cup oil
3 cups rice
1 cup tomato sauce
1/2 onion; diced
1 to 2 cloves of garlic; diced
½ can Jalapeño pepper juice
2 pieces of canned jalapeno peppers whole
1 tsp salt
4 cups cup water

In large pot, heat oil.
Add onion and garlic. Cook until they just start to turn golden.
Add rice. This part you have to stir a lot. (this is when I heat my corn tortilla's)
When rice is light brown and white (no longer opaque) and when rice starts to pop or jump....Add water, tomato sauce, salt, peppers and pepper juice.
Bring it to a boil and cover with lid and turn to low.
Cook 15 to 20 minutes.
Try not to lift lid for at least 15 minutes.

Serve.

My Aunt Kathie taught me how to do it and it took me years to perfect it.
So if it doesnt turn out the first time, try again.
I hope you like my recipes.
I am gonna learn how to make refried beans next.

Minutes

I only have a few minutes to blog.
I keep hearing this word that is totally driving me crazy.
And I have been close to tears all day.
I know it is mostly because I am so tired.
I know, I complain a lot about being tired, but It is true.
I AM SO FREAKIN' TIRED!
NAPS, you ask?
I have a 2year old , who doesn't take naps, and if she did it would not be at the same time as the baby.
GO TO BED EARLY, you ask?
I have a husband who works late and by the time we go to bed, it is late....after midnight. (i like to hang out with him, so sue me....and get your head out of the gutter, I am too tired for that)
WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE, you ask?
I have one wonderful and amazing, yet completely exhausting, frustrating, demanding, full time, 24/7, never EVER, EVER, EVER getting a break or vacation kind of Job.
I am a Mom.
(there's that word again)
Mom.
Mommy.
Mamma.
On my most tired, stressed filled, already feeling guilty kind of days... I do not like to hear that word.
Today is one of those days.
Boys Bad... I mean so bad, i just want to cry and quit my job.
I was having an already stressed, Mikey crying, Jeff gone, needing a nap kind of day.
See.... more guilt has crept in.
I LOVE my kids. I am thinking a break would be nice.
A day of not having to do a dang thing, but nap, and read, watch movies, shopping and playing.
Isn't that what mother's day is for? (Jeff has to work)
Maybe when I am old. And a Grandma....
Well, my mom doesn't get a break, and if I am going be like her when I grow up...
...Okay....well, it was a nice dream.

Flash Back Friday - Me

Mother's day is coming up.
It's not a favorite holiday.
I mean I totally enjoy it and I am glad it is there.
But I can't say I look forward to it...yet.
(It is usually disappointing.)
But, I so am glad I am a mother.

This is a picture of me on my 10th birthday.
I was getting a Cabbage patch new born baby.
It was a boy. (I think it is funny, I didn't even have girl baby dolls)
His name was Christopher Michael.
I was thrilled.
I loved playing with dolls.
Even at age 10.
Playing the roll of Mommy.

I was holding my sweet Michael last night and just looking at his sweet sleeping face on my chest, i got all teary eyed and warm fussy all over.
It made me miss him.
Yes, he was right there, but I almost wanted him to be awake with his big happy smile. He has the best smile.
I thought of my other boys and guilt hit me.
Earlier that night, I realized my boys don't hug me before bed anymore. No kisses good night. Nothing.
I made them hug me. They seemed to love it. I held on a little longer than usual.
They are so big now.
Where did the time go?
How did I miss it?
I didn't miss anything, obviously, I was there. I was just being the Mom.
The one busy.
The one who did almost everything.
The one making sure they were fed and clean and loved.
I was the one who remembered their favorite things. I was the one who encouraged them to try.
I was the one who pushed for homework, chores and clean rooms to get done. Not for my sanity, so they could learn.
I was the one who loved them even when they were rotten stinky boys.
It all feels like a blur.
Where was I when they were growing up? I was here, but I feel like I missed it.
How is that possible?
I think about the day I became a real mom.
December 19th, 1995.
Matthew was so little . Too early and so tiny.
I was so happy. Just happy.
Finally, doing my dream job. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was just so happy.
I look at that picture and a few more from birthday and Christmases when I was little, and I think I got baby for each one. (up until I was 10)
It makes me remember that all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a Mom.
I knew that I wanted to get married and just be a mom.
My Mom was and still is an AMAZING mother. I remember I wanted to do what she did. I wanted to be a Mom just like here.
Some days I REALLY hate my job. (you know, you've been here), because some days it is harder than others.
But I truly love my job.
The good, the bad and the ugly of it all.
I am getting better at it. I have entered teenage world. Matthew is a little behind on things a teenage boy would do. (Especially with girls, and no I am not sad about that part at all)
I have so very much time in this job left.
I have forever.
I have forever to get it just right.
I realized that the joys and wonders of motherhood are plain as day to most of you all, But I am slow learner and it takes me a little bit longer to figure things out.
I also have this memory thing (not just from motherhood, just born that way), I tend to forget a great many things, even the simple wonders of motherhood.
I am gonna try harder.
Good thing I am a scrapbooker, or nothing would ever be remembered.
Feel free to make fun of my hair in the photo, I know I will.

Tasty Tuesday - Chicken in a Biscuit

I love this recipe. it is SUPER EASY!
My mom made it when we lived at her house.
She got it from my AWESOME sister-in-law Jami.

Aunt Jami’s Chicken in a Biscuit

3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 package dry onion soup mix
1 bar of cream cheese softened
3 tubes of crescent rolls

Bake chicken and cut into small pieces
In a bowl, add chicken, cream cheese, and ONLY 3 TABLESPOONS OF ONION MIX!
Mix well.
Unroll each crescent roll and add 2 tablespoons of chicken mixture. Roll up crescent roll like a little package. See the pictures below.

(it DOES NOT have to be perfect or pretty)
Place on a greased cookies sheet
Follow Crescent roll directions on baking.

Great with potatoes or rice and chicken gravy.

Enjoy.