33 days - bitter sweet

This is bittersweet.
As the days go by, way to fast for me, we are now on a count down. We are undecided when it comes to staying or going. Not that it is up to us. The state of California will decide int he end.
I was pondering yesterday.
As I drove home from taking Jeff to work , I really enjoyed the scenery.
I do love this small town.
I know I make a lot of jokes, but I do like it here.
I like the town, I like the feel, I like the simplicity of it.
Ahhhh...the simple life.

Examples of our simple life:
You can only drive 30 mph on Main Street - which means, you HAVE to drive slow. You notice more odd things and odd looking people that live in our town. Plus our cops are not too busy, so going 32 mph will get you a ticket.
We don't have a community pool - which is really funny to most of us city born folk. You have a Lake 20 minutes away, but most of the kids in town have never learned to swim... no pool, no swimming lessons.
Fashion: Most if the kids have the same clothes...when the only place to shop in town is Wal-Mart.....and the kids don't know any different, so they don't care... well yes, the teenagers do care.
Stop lights: hold on I have to count.....I think there is seven total.
Fast food: there aren't many choices. Mc D's, Jack in the Box, Taco bell, Burger King and KFC....we do have a Starbucks...the tall Vanilla Bean frap is worth it and all I get.
ONLY 1 $1 store - And everyone was excited to find out they moved to a bigger spot.
Entertainment: We have to movie theaters one is up town and the other is 2 or 3 blocks down Main street. One has 2 screens... (not sure about the other one). If you miss the first two weeks of a new movie, then you might just have to wait until it comes out on DVD.
We have bowling, too. We have never been, but it looks like fun.
The sad thing is everyone knows your business and is talking about you. Sometimes that is good and sometimes bad. Good because you get help even if you don't ask...or won't ask. And bad, well that should be obvious.
Wildlife: the deer everywhere are fun to look at until they poop on your lawn and eat your flowers and trees.
There is lots more about this town I love, but I can't name them all.
But the most important thing they don't have is our family.
It costs us quite a bit to travel home as often as we do. The state of California is in such a terrible mess and because we have a state job, we will suffer.
We are the only ones in my family who can afford it, except my brother Shane, but his job keeps him very busy, too busy.
And we will not be able to afford it much longer.
We NEED to move home. To be with our families, to help our families.

The one sweet thing about having to move....I WON'T LIVE IN THIS HOUSE ANY LONGER!!!!

It really costs a lot to live here.

I won't miss the hardwood floors. (a huge pain to clean)

I won't miss the ugly cover over the fireplace. (We had to put it there to keep cool air in and hot air out during the summer. And vice versa for the winter.)

I won't miss the ugly bathrooms. (the master bath only fits one person at a time)

I won't miss the pellet stove or the yellow marble tile wall behind the pellet stove.

I won't miss the kitchen faucet that sprays every which way.

I won't miss the scary ceiling that looks like it will cave in any minute. (yes, we have taken pictures and told the Landlord a million times...he never did anything)

I will not miss the doors to each room where they are higher than the floor by an inch and a half and all sound travels through that way.

I won't miss the stress of living on this street. (some of the drivers are a little too fast)

I know, I sound like a broken record.
Like I said up top... this is all bitter sweet.
I wanna stay, but I wanna move home.... the desire for each is equal.
33 days of being right here in this house. Sweet!
33 days of ..."I don't know if we will move to a different house in the area and I don't know if it means we will move away" Bitter!
I hate the unknown.
so very bitter sweet.