I can't sleep.

I went to bed about midnight.
Jeff and I were talking about stuff just before we settled under the covers.
He almost immediately fell asleep. He amazes me.
I could never do that.
I just have too much going on in my brain.
It just won't stop.

So many things to think about.
I think about how I forgot to pray with my boys before they went to bed.
I think about the things I should have done today, but was surprised and unable to do anything else.
I think about money, and Jeff's paycheck, his raise and what it will be.
I think about how badly I screwed up the check book again, and feel guilty.
I think about Jeff not getting any overtime and how we will make ends meet.
I really think about the mistakes I have made and how it is kicking me in the fanny.
I think about what great friends I have and how I do not deserve them.
I think about my family in Sacramento and all the things I am missing out on.
I think about Emma and how I need to play with her more and get off this damn computer I am so addicted to.
It never stops.
The worrying and the wondering. I don't fall asleep. I don't think good things.
It only gets worse.
I start to think of all the horrible things that COULD have happened. But didn't. And probably never would have.
I HAVE to have the TV on.
I try to watch the most boring things and try and fall asleep.
But tonight, as I sit here at the computer at 2:20am, I am tired, but not sleepy.
Why did I share this?
I am not sure.
I was hoping it would make me feel better to talk about it.
Maybe I shouldn't be talking about this kind of stuff on my blog?
Aren't blogs suppose to be fun?
Maybe I will read my book.
I will enter the Wild West and be the girl in the book, and escape....
Yes, Jeff is always the hero.